Woe Is Me- Life on Life's Terms redux

My car broke down last Friday and I got the news today. My transmission needs repair for $5,000! What a terrible time for this news. As we are working to decide a solution, I am so regretful that this has happened. My Prius should have had 100M more miles to go, at least in my thinking...these money concerns really make it hard to stay serene about Deanna's work and waiting for the pay-off. I am trying not to over-think how this could have all gone awry at this time in our lives. When we bought our home the future seemed to secure and bright. I am really struggling not to be resentful of LISC and everything else that put us here, and trusting that Deanna's ship will come in. It is not easy to stay believing that we are right where we are supposed to be. It is not where I like to be, that is for sure. I never want to be poor again. I don't like loosing my options. I don't like being afraid and insecure. I don't like being resentful. I don't want to have to work at this job forever. It is easy to say "Thy will be done," it is not easy to live it, when things are not going the way I want them to.