I am within 5 pounds of the goal weight set for me by my doctor- 125 pounds. To think I once weighed twice that is mind-boggling. My highest BMI was 46, my BMI when I got to OA HOW was 35 and now it is 23. My brain still doesn't have this information registered yet. I perceive myself as fat, even though the visual evidence proves otherwise. I understand from others that it takes time for the cognitive dissonance to go away. I feel like I am always looking in the mirror to try to "see" myself. I don't believe the clothes size I am buying: P4 and some 2's. I try to accept the comments of "you're so small, petite, thin, skinny, etc....one colleague endearingly calls me "small person."
I am so grateful to the friend of a friend who I heard about doing OA HOW and her abstinence and maintenance. I am extremely grateful to my sponsor who guides me with love and discipline. I am grateful to all my OA fellows for sticking with me and picking up the phone when I call. I am grateful to my family for their loving and cheerful support. Mostly, I am grateful to my Higher Power for giving me all those people to help me on this journey. Lastly, I am grateful for the Big Book that tells me:
"The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment